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Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w005d630/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

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Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w005d630/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

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Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w005d630/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /www/htdocs/w005d630/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /www/htdocs/w005d630/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

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Türken belauscht « JurBlog.de

Türken belauscht

6. Februar 2007 | Von E. S. | Kategorie: Feuilleton | Keine Kommentare | Artikel versenden


Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method InSeriesInternal::in_series_linker_content_filter() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/w005d630/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 166

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Mit freundlicher Genehmigung der Belauscht-Redaktion möchte ich im folgenden fünf Beispiele aus www.belauscht.de präsentieren, die mir besonders gefallen haben:

das nennt man dann wohl standortvorteil…
Bremen. Straßenbahnhaltestelle.
Ein etwa 14 Jahre altes Mädchen wartet mit ihrem türkischen Freund auf die Bahn.

Er: “Oh Alter, mir ist voll kalt!”
Sie: “Jo, du musst dich halt mal warmer anziehen, dann frierste auch nicht immer so!!”
Er: “‘Warmer”‘?? Ich denk, das heißt ‘wärmer’?”
Sie: “Ach Quatsch, wieso denn ‘wärmer’? ‘Warm’ schreibt man doch mit ‘a’ und dann heißt es auch ‘warmer’. Wieso sollte man das denn mit ‘e’ schreiben??”(Sie meint: wermer…)
Er (äußerst skeptisch): “Naja, du bist die Deutsche…”
Sie: “Eben!”

mit algebra zum unkraut jäten
Frankfurt am Main. Niederrad, Goldsteinstrasse. Im Bus.
Zwei halbwüchsige türkische Jugendliche fahren zur Schule und unterhalten sich im Bus über den Schulunterricht.

Junge #1: “Hab heut voll kein Bock, schreiben krasse Arbeit.”
Junge #2: “Scheiße, über was denn?”
Junge #1: “Wurzelziehen.”
Junge #2: “Voll Scheisse, Biologie!”

sie nannten ihn knollenfrucht
In Ungarn. In einer Bar.
Mit dem Fussballverein in Ungarn.
Dort belauschte ich folgendes Gespräch zwischen einem Deutsch-Türken und einer Ungarin (die der deutschen Sprache nicht allzu mächtig war).

Ungarin: “Wie heißt du?”
Türke: “Ceyhan”
Ungarin: “Wie?”
Türke: “Ceyhan!”
Ungarin: “Ich versteh´ nicht”
Türke: “Ceyhan!!!”
Ungarin wieder: “Wie?”
Türke: “CEYHAN!!!”
Ungarin schaut immer noch fragend
Darauf der Türke: “Ach, nenn mich einfach Kartoffel!”

hamburgspor
Auf einem Schulhof in Hamburg-Wilhelmsburg:
Aufforderung zu einem Fußballspiel in der Pause:

Oh, ja Türken gegen Ausländer!”

geografisch fundiertes politikwissen
Unterhaltung zwischen zwei zirka 16-jährigen Mädels…

#1: “Heut haben wir in Sozialkunde über den Türkei-Beitritt zur EU geredet…”
#2: “Und?”
#1: “Ich bin da ja mal voll dagegen!”
#2: “Wieso?”
#1: “Ey, von der Türkei da liegt doch grad mal soviel wie Mecklenburg-Vorpommern in der EU und der Rest im Islam…!”

Bei belauscht.de handelt es sich um das Ohr Deutschlands. Egal ob witzig, weise, skurril oder bewegend – Hauptsache authentisch. Belauscht.de ist das Forum für alles Belauschte, Mitgehörte und Aufgeschnappte!

Ekrem Senol - Köln, 06.02.2007

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